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Personal choices play a key role in our ability to deal with (or even avoid) anxiety.
By now, many people have discovered that, in addition to being a smart way to reduce the spread of Covid-19, social distancing has some negative effects that include feelings of isolation, loneliness, and increased stress.
And that increased stress can cause other problems such as changes in sleep patterns and difficulty concentrating.
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It doesn’t have to be that way.
The deliberate, mindful choices we make can have a measurable effect on how we cope with stress.
That’s the research-based conclusion of Dr. Paul Napper and Dr. Anthony Rao, psychologists who have spent years studying agency, the ability to respond actively rather than passively to situations that impact our lives.
In other words, agency is what people can use to feel in command of their lives.
During this time of pandemic, it’s more important than ever that we learn to cope with stress. But many people are struggling. According to data from the World Health Organization, as many as 40 million Americans are now diagnosed with an anxiety disorder.
But it doesn’t have to be that way. Napper and Rao offer some smart—and non-pharmaceutical—treatments for anxiety in their book The Power of Agency: The 7 Principles to Conquer Obstacles, Make Effective Decisions, and Create a Life on Your Own Terms.
Rodger Dean Duncan: Many people felt overwhelmed and anxious even before Covid-19 swept around the globe. How has the pandemic affected that state of mind?
Anthony Rao: The pandemic is like a global human stress test that exposes our vulnerabilities, physical as well as emotional.
We can expect more stress reactions—such as high irritability, anxiety, fatigue, and problems sleeping. But the pandemic also raises the stakes on what people’s minds can process and integrate. There will be more moments of acute stress, or what is commonly experienced as “overwhelm.” These are moments where we experience mental confusion, lose access to our critical thinking and make poorer decisions. In response, our frustration tolerance is taxed and we may fly into fits of anger or be immobilized by fear. Behind the scenes are elevated levels of adrenalin and cortisol.
On a more human level, during periods of overwhelm, our personal agency is under assault. We can lose self-confidence and give up control over what’s in our power to change. Through enhancing our agency, we stay grounded, build resilience, and move ourselves onto higher mental and physical ground to address the challenges that lie ahead.
Duncan: It’s estimated that about 40 million Americans are now diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. What are the tell-tale signs of that level of anxiety?
Anthony Rao
Rao: Anxiety takes many forms. It can range from vague, nagging worries to highly intense phobias. It may show up as incessant obsessions and rituals, or sudden intense fear that causes heart palpitations and shortness of breath.
Professionals rely on clinical criteria to make a formal diagnosis.
Consider these factors in deciding whether you should seek professional help to manage anxiety. How frequent and how debilitating is the anxiety? If it’s interfering with daily work and productivity, straining your relationships, keeping you from reaching your goals, and most important, adversely affecting your mood and level of enjoyment, it’s serious enough to seek help.
Second, when anxiety symptoms remain high week after week, it may signify you’ve gone beyond normal reactions to common daily life stress. You could be neurologically stuck in an unrealistic, negative pattern of thinking and behaving that is serving to exaggerate and perpetuate the anxiety. It can be a vicious cycle.
During this time of widespread disruption, it can be a good opportunity for all of us to pay attention to our mental weak spots and put helpful resources in place— like therapy, coaching, more positive social supports, and mind-body practices.
Duncan: When parents suffer from anxiety (even if they don’t realize or acknowledge it), what’s the effect on their children?
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Rao: Anxiety is a highly contagious emotion. We have mirror neurons that automatically pick up and mimic the strong emotional signals of others around us. When parents are anxious, it transfers easily to their kids.
We’ve all experienced what it’s like to be in a tense meeting or around highly anxious people. We often absorb that angst and come away with higher levels of stress. Younger children are especially vulnerable to picking up anxiety signals from their parents because their coping skills aren’t well-developed. Children rely on parents to protect them and keep them calm, to prevent them from feeling that their world is unsafe and unpredictable.
It’s helpful to think of parenting in leadership terms. Good leaders work to stay calm and keep others calm during times of stress. They monitor their emotions and reactions. They communicate calmly, clearly, and concisely.
Even the best of leaders will struggle with strong emotions and make mistakes. When this happens, it’s helpful to acknowledge those moments openly and model for others how best to adapt and problem-solve in the face of disruptive change and uncertainty.
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